How To Understand Men

male advice needed - what goes through your heads?!...but any comment welcome

feeds@kickapps.com (clm15) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:43:23 PST

This is a long, complicated story so i shall try and keep it short and simple and to the basics. Basically for over a year now I have been seeing this guy. At the beginning it was a drunken kiss and i was dating other guys at the time so when he pursued me i was not interested. However as i got to know him more i began to like him and eventually last March i decided to give up on the other guys and give him a chance. Since then it has been so up and down and confusing! At the beginning everything was fine, but i think we ended up spending too much time together, then we had a fall out over him flirting with a friend and when that blew over, things were really good again and although we never had that talk of what we were, we acted like we were in a relationship. At the beginning of last summer that then changed, as we are both at uni, and he was in his final year and i still had a...

Am I just a 'fling' for whenver he's back home

feeds@kickapps.com (Cinnamon55) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:50:06 PST

Okay, so four months ago I started talking to this guy through facebook. For about 3 months we just sent each other messages back and forth talking about school, and the usual. He hardly had time to use the computer because he's a medical student so he'd reply after 4-5 days. Then he started calling me. Well he called me twice, and I called him once. Thing is, he lives here in Canada, but studies in the UK. So he's back home in Canada (where I live) every two months or so. So when we got talking on the phone, he told me how he was coming back (this was in January) and we should hang out. I was fine with that, but didn't really think too much into it, until the day he calls me on the same day he reached home. He actually asked to see me the next day, but I told him to take time to settle down, and we could see each other after a couple of days and he agreed. So anyways, our first meeting was somewhat odd. We had dinner, and well then...

Somebody please help me understand!

feeds@kickapps.com (misstara) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:34:35 PST

My boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot lately. It seems that we mostly argue about the way that we argue, and we're constantly discussing how we should act/react the next time. Like tonight, I got a little down because we had a small discussion about something and he told me that I never let him talk. I was fine after the conversation for awhile and then I started to think about his words. Almost every time we argue he uses the words "never" or "always" or "every time", and I started to feel down because if he really believes that I "never do this" or "always do that", then maybe he shouldn't want to be with someone like me right? So I simply went to him and asked him if I could ask him something. He said yes and we sat down and I told him that when he uses these words so often they stick in my head and I hear them over and over and it starts to make me feel like I"m just not good enough for him. So I asked him if he really believes these things he says, because if he does then...

In Love or Not In Love

feeds@kickapps.com (SolarisEclipse) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 01:53:13 PST

I've been dating this guy since October of last year he lives in another town at least 3 over from me, we talked on the phone for two months before we met 1st. Once a week sometimes two I travel to his place because I'm staying with a friend and her two children. We barely do anything we don't go out every blue moon he takes me out to eat. He sometimes sleeps till 1pm whenever I spend the night so I get stuck either sleeping or laying there like a zombie.

When I'm with him, he is always using his ipod or he is always answering the phone or everyone else's text that he gets while he is with me but yet he doesn't get back to me when I text or call him, last month he told me first that he loved me, but he seems to have a weird way of showing it, it started just before Christmas. Several days would go by before I hear from him I have to...

So sad and don't no which way to turn next

feeds@kickapps.com (katseyesicu2) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:20:34 PST

Hello all. I will try and keep this as brief as I can, me and my partner have been together now for 18 years we have 2 children age 16 and 10. Our relationship problems begun when we moved house 2 half years ago, in this time we have had some really tough times we both have had to cope with loss in our family's my partner lost his sister to cancer 2 years ago, he was devastated and still is he was very close to his sister in age as well (39 and 40) I lost my nan as well which was a tough time as well, along with this we have had many challenges to deal with my daughter has special educational needs and has been having problems with bully's at school this has effected me a great deal as I'm not getting the support from her school like I should be, my partner has been really unhappy at work which has affected his moods. Also my partners been trying to rebuild a very broken relationship with his father they had not spoken in about 20 years but have been in contact again for...

So confused and hurt at the same time. What is going on?

feeds@kickapps.com (melissa5) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:52:25 PST

My fiance and I have been together for 8 years. We have recently rented an Acreage which we have been on for about 2 months now.

I have a problem though. Christmas Day he was good, being his normal "lovey dovey" self, he left for Skiidooing after supper, gave me a big hug and kiss, said "I love you" and stuff before he left.

Saturday night he starts texting me asking what happened to us and telling me that he just wants his old life back.

I don't know waht to think of this. He won't talk to me on the phone. He is due back tomorrow. Nothing has changed between us since we have gotten this acreage. We lived in his parents basement for a couple years before this so it isn't the first time we have lived together.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I sent him a text saying "so what's happening with us?. We have this house until May. From what I graspe you don't want to be with me anymore....

Heartbreak #2

feeds@kickapps.com (confusion101) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:05:55 PST

Heartbreak #1 I became a widow in March of 2006. My husband of 30 years was killed in an auto accident. He was my life, my love, my best friend. I married my husband when I was 16 years old, we had 4 children and at the time of his death we had 6 grandchildren. He was my first love, the man of any woman's dream...then he was taken from me.

Heartbreak #2 I waited over a year before I even thought about looking at another man. Then I met a man who works in my area. I introduced myself online to him, we met and became friends immediately. I was told things about this man from people in my community, but I refused to believe them because I admired him so much. He helped me so much to get through a lot of the pain I was going through due to the death of my husband. We became initmate after several months, but the man would never take me out in public. Even though I had a problem with this and let him know it bothered me, he still wouldn't take me out. So, I asked him...

Facebook/social networking sites and Ex boyfriend

feeds@kickapps.com (lilyat108x) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:38:14 PST

We had a terrible fight and broke up. I still want him back. During this time I just went forward and spent a lot of time having fun in my sport/hobby. And, I created a Facebook account and reconnected with old friends and posted happy pics of my in my sport, and other things in my life. However a couple weeks ago, my ex boyfriend became a friend on Facebook of someone who is my friend and we both knowbecause we all used to work together. So since he is a friend of my friend, my Facebook settings allow him to see my profile, info, and pictures. I am confused on what one does with these sites. If I want him to miss me, contact me, etc... should I leave my Facebook settings like they are so if he happened to browse my profile, he can see I moved on and having a good time? Or, does leaving the settings this way take away from his curiosity of me lessening the chance he'll contact me? I could restrict it so that only my friends see me but not their friends which would include my ex,...

So Sad...and so confused!!

feeds@kickapps.com (BonitaPau) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:45:04 PST

Hello All,

So my bf and I broke up about two weeks ago. I moved out of the house we bought together because it honestly was HELL there for me...
We still talk because we have a kid together and we have had a few fights over visitations so far...
But my question is... Is he really over me? he is not dating or anything but one day he acts as if he doesnt care to see me, but when i go to pick up my son from his house, he acts and looks depressed and like he wants to talk to me... One day i did give him a kiss and hugged him and said 'i love you' and he said it back then i left his house...
I dont know what to think. I do miss him but things were really bad with him! I thought he would at least try to get me back and admit some of his shortcomings in the relationship but he's done NOTHING!!!
The day i moved out he called me 3 times and then like two days after he kept calling me but that was it! Now he is acting like he doesnt want to even see...

He's distant after 4 months..losing trust

feeds@kickapps.com (PreciousOne) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:21:48 PST

Hi, I need some advise here. My boyfriend of 4 months..same old story I hear all the time. Things were good in the beginning we talked all the time and couldn't wait to see each other. Then about 2 months into the relationship he's backing away, and I find he has been texting some other girls and saying personal things to her on text similar to what we say on text. Should I confront and end this or just wait and see what happens, my gut tells me to move on, I don't want an emotionally unavailable man in my life that can't be honest on other women he is talking with. Thanks! Have a great day!

Dating My FINE Neighbor

feeds@kickapps.com (evets) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:45:57 PST

HELP HELP

feeds@kickapps.com (padma2009) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:53:03 PST

A boy loved me when I was in school some 16 yrs back. He was crazy then and finally lfet me when parents intervened. I liked him secrelty but never told him as i feared my parents. His parents too liked me a lot and tired to talk to me, convince my parents but failed.

Now, We met 6 months back thru facebook and he said he still likes me but as a friend now. he told me how much he tried to trace me and how much he missed me. We exchanged 300 mails in a month...just everything that we missed out in all these years, family, friends etc.,. He was however very decent and we talked of our school days and family and were enjoying. I feared again if his wife may not like. He said he would take care of that and actually it was his wife that told him to continue this friendship. She knows everything. I was still a bit scared that he may again leave me as a friend also. i rally liked him, his family.

Puzzled, kinda long, sry

feeds@kickapps.com (TisME85) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 05:12:26 PST

First of all, its kinda long, i'm not the best at explaining things in words so i hope this makes sense.

I'm puzzled with the way this guy, Tony, that i sorta work with is acting. I met him about 6 yrs ago and i thought he was cute and sweet and now i work with him, so to speak, but in different departments and i have found out Tony is the same person i saw then and i totally enjoy being with him, any time i have been able to see or talk with him i have always 1, flirted with him and 2, made sure i look and smell my very best. One night i had the pleasure to work side by side with him and it was awkward at first. I didnt know what to do...

Emotional potential?

feeds@kickapps.com (Erinlove) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 03:39:20 PST

Ok, so I went on a few great dates with a man who seems really good for me but there is a problem that scares me. At beginning of dates he starts out loving and affectionate but within a couple hours he withdraws.. I know men kinda drain after a while when it comes to intimacy and need to recharge... but it is only couple hours before it seems he don't want to be touched, then he does not contact me for a few days..is this a red flag? It makes me feel rejected and I am never sure if he wants to see me again.. Thanks for any thoughts.
P.S. This also means he is a crappy and cold good bye kisser by the way

How do I end it with this man? Would love a man's advice!

feeds@kickapps.com (giapooh) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:51:54 PST

I met a man 4 months ago. We did not have sex right away. We have a great time when we are together, we go to the movies, out to eat, etc..We now have sex and it is unbelievable. He is super sweet, attentive, loving, afffectionate and totally into me when we are together. The problem is getting together is few and far between. I try and he's busy with meetings. He once told me that every woman is has been with has cheated on him. When I try to make plans he tells me it's hard for him to make plans because he has so much to do, which I do know for a fact that he involved in so much, probably to not get close and keep a safe enough distance. He was married once several years ago for less than a year and his wife divorced him because she never saw him. (his words). I broke up with him so we are not boyfriend/girlfriend. I heard from him after 3 weeks saying he missed me. So, we hang out. The thing is he's all over me, and besides the movies, wants sex...

How do you know?

feeds@kickapps.com (lovebug) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 17:09:26 PST

All right, I have feelings for this guy, strong feelings and I want to be more than just friends. We haven't talked for a long time and only revived the friendship recently. He is different towards me now, seems like he either just cares more as a platonic friend or he is feeling something more.

So all the questions, "Is he interested in more?" and "Why is he doing this or that?" (I can send you a whole list of stuff ) surfaces and makes me wonder and hope that he does indeed feel something.

But then again, if a guy really feels something for a girl, should she have to wonder about it? Wonder if he is interested? Wonder why he is doing this or that and what does it mean when does this or that?

I doubt it. Or am I being to indifferent? I wish there was a little envelope that we could be given with the answer to the question, "What is he doing, what does he want?"

Anyways, I am...

Discovering & Cultivating Feminity/understanding Masculinity

feeds@kickapps.com (chantlaura) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:06:54 PST

So - can we get some discussion on how to recognize the differences between femininity/masculinity? Developing femininity? Learning to be at peace with the befuddlement that is masculinity?

I have been reading Bob Grant's books - Women Men Adore and How Can I Get Him Back? - and today bought Getting to "I Do" - and I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed.

In Getting to "I Do," Dr. Allen talks about male and female roles in a relationship, and she offers a quiz to help us discern what our relationship style is. As I read the questions and the options provided, I thought about some answers (ones that were revealed to be Feminine) "I'd rather do this - BUT I'd feel safer doing THAT" ("That" was usually a "male" option) -

So - if i...

Is this a cheeseless tunnel?

feeds@kickapps.com (BonnieLass) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:17:21 PST

In January 2008 I met a man who was newly divorced. He was the teacher of a class I was taking in community college. We instantly hit it off, but he would not go out with me, even for coffee, while I was his student. Quite proper. I also took an intense summer school class with him and we became even closer. There was a lot of flirting, and I KNOW he was interested in me. Instead of taking his class this fall as I had planned, I dropped it and then asked him if we could go out now. He said, yes, great, he was sure we would both enjoy getting to know each other. We went out the first time to Starbucks and sat and talked nonstop for over three hours. We have incredible rapport, same sense of humor, same religious background. BTW he is a brilliant teacher in his field, very kind, and extremely passionate. In fact, I'd say "passion" is his most salient quality. (We're the same age, late 50's. I'm a widow for 8 years.)

After that first...

Need help - does he like me or not?

feeds@kickapps.com (zalster) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:05:54 PST

Hi All,

I will try to make it simple. I met this guy 1 year ago and I will call him Frank. We met at a bar, hit it off, and kept in touch. Because of cirmcumstances (I went out of country for 4 months), we never really went out on a real date until I came back. However, we kept in touch through emails.

When I came back, we went out and have fun. He is a sweetheart. He helped me edit my graduate school essay; when I hurt my knee, he tells me to go see his doc and makes sure I do; he always calls back when I call; he remembers my bd.

One problem - he is not consistent. I do not see him weekly. He called me on my bd and asked me if he could take me out, to which I replied 'yeah sure' (i did not want to act too interested). He took that as I was not interested enough in him (and I am thinking how dumb he is for thinking that). 2 months went by and we did not talk at all until I ran into him at a club. And that night we talked. He was the one who said 'we need to...

was i just an ego booster ? are men just heartless players?

feeds@kickapps.com (leilalolly) — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 01:56:14 PST

hi
met a guy 3 months ago: he used the "don juan recipe"
3 weeks of romantic texts,calls, presents,cooking session, then when i started showing interest.., he didn't...then i backed up...he texts me like nuts again...then ...i am there again and he is not...etc...next thing i know...he thinks i am a psycho!...
,i deleted his number from my phone and decided to vanish for 30 days,maybe i won't answer his calls.....

i am trying to understand how to get a man back ! i am clueless !this is for the next one...i am giving up on this one...he is nasty..

- do women have to be shallow when they meet men so guys don''t get scared by the love thing !

-i just wanted to chill out for a bit with this guy !i didn't want babies...and knew he neither...( he is +10 yrs younger that me...)
- as well as being distant -he was quite mean to me! instant karma maybe,HE JUST LOST HIS JOB ! i had noticed that he was stressed out with work when he started to be...