OK need advice hopefully not too many look bad on me. I have had this friend for years and she is married to an ex friend (he screwed me over multiple times)
anyhow since she had problems I would listen to her. I let it be known how I felt for her but I never made a move. One night we were hanging and she kissed me.
And you can guess where it went from there. I tried not to but we all know urges and I had been single for over a year prior. Well that was about a year ago.
Recently I got tired of hearing the complaints and the hurting on my part. I tried to give everything for her to see a way out of her situation. Well I kind of
backed her in a corner to make it come out and she chose him "no surprise right". She said she needs to try and make it work but doesnt see it
happening. Well since then I have tried to slowly lean off of her but at the same time. I'm am still getting the I love you I miss you and she is still
tryin to kiss me. We see each other at least once or twice a week. Not doing anything with each other. I have asked when we are going to cut contact for their
sake. She is sayin she doesn't want to. Now I have talked to her mom and her best freind as we are all kind of close. They are telling me to hang in there
she is trying just doesn't know how. But at this point I dont know anymore. With all of this going on and the fact she chose him over myself. With all he
does to upset her lack of help round the house, complete slob, smokes in the house after comstant reminder of how it affects her, etc. I need advice don't
know what to do but don't want to be a bed buddy or a crutch when it suits her anymore.
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She's married i'm lost
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 helpmeout.savvymale62039 |
She's married i'm lost |
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Posts: 1 (Aug 23, 2008 20:45:02) |
Last Edited By: helpmeout Aug 24, 2008 11:48:12.
Edited 1 time.
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helpmeout.savvymale62039 |
Help me | ||
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Posts: 2 (Aug 25, 2008 18:15:30) |
I really need advice. Please anyone this is really stressing me. Last night she was over and was all over me. I pulled away from her but it felt like my heart
was being pulled out of my chest.
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chantlaura |
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Posts: 4 (Sep 9, 2008 11:50:55) |
Hey. STAY AWAY FROM A MARRIED WOMAN. You do NOT need to be in private places with this gal. You know the rules! She's off-limits until SHE decides to do
something about her marriage.
You want to get revenge on her husband? Even if it hurts her? How's it going to feel to you, to her, to the people who love you and believe in you if you get your names dragged through Civil Court for adultery leading to divorce? From now on - you don't see her EXCEPT in a mob of people. You can slip a moment in quietly to tell her you honor her too much to compromise her integrity further. There really are Higher Standards in this world, and you'd both be smart to pay attention and to honor those. Rooting for you. |
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Tabitha01 |
Hmmm | ||
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Posts: 1 (Sep 11, 2008 13:49:17) |
Being in love is never easy. I do think that fact that she chose her husband over you should have sent you a message a long time ago. I am not saying she is
maliciously using you or anything, people do latch on to what they are missing in relationships. But her actions have clearly said she doesn't want to
leave him. This may sound harsh but I have a feeling "you" could be anyone to her. Meaning, she needs someone other than her husband, it just happens
to be you. So if you stopped being her crying shoulder, she would go find another. Reality can be hard I know and I am not trying to judge but you do need to
stop any private contact with her. Try dating someone, or clearly let her know you guys are just friends and that is it. From what you have said I doubt that
would work but it need to be done.
You mentioned talking to her mother and sister and they said she doesn't know what she wants. So what. So unless you are willing to waste your life away waiting for someone who might not want you in the ways you do, you need to move on. The fact that someone would make someone wait around for that long of time while they figure out what they want and then almost mock you by choosing and staying with the one she supposedly doesn't want, is awful. I understand you are in love and it will be hard. But ask yourself this, do you really want a woman who is staying with someone she doesn't want to? That says way too many issues. Most women like myself, wouldn't put up with that for very long and move on if changes weren't made. The fact that she wants to live in misery is kind of a red flag I guess. Anyway thinks about all of these, take a deep breath and make some changes. It will be hard, but you will look back on this someday and be glad you didn't waste anymore time. Life is too short. Good luck 
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helpmeout.savvymale62039 |
Thank you | ||
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Posts: 3 (Sep 14, 2008 20:14:52) |
Hey for those who have read and care. I did it i told her to stop hitting me I still am devastated but I knew I couldn't keep going like this. Yeah she still calls me and I am nice and civil like nothing ever happened. And all thought I am sure we both know it's a front, I haven't faltered once. I went back to how it was since we first started being friends nothing more and I have cut all my contact with her outside of her calling me or once in a blue moon wishing her a nice day like I do all my friends and it's far and few in between. Have I noticed a difference in her yes she has seemed more attentive but not falling for it. It is very hard but I am doing it no where ready to start dating she caught me when I was already out of the game for over a year. So dating anyone right now is out of the question and I can't do bed buddies one night stands have never been for me. I have just learned to accept I am not meant to be happy. That there is no point in being that loving caring always there at a drop of a dime bring home flowers for no reason but for the face I love you and just wanted to do something nice. In all off my relationships I have done those things and have gotten screwed one way or another. Either it's never appreciated or there is some kind of alternate motive of why I am doing it. Or I find a hot head who always wants more but when you give they destroy everything you have done for them cause they just want to see you hurt. I am tired of finding only emotionally wrecked, displaced, resentful, untrusting one. I am tired of always trying to clean up someone elses mess just to get dumped on. Then being blamed cause you know it's always my fault that there ex ruined them and now I have to suffer it since they couldnt affect them. I"M DONE I am honestly thinking there either isn't one happy woman left on this planet they aren't sure what they want till it's gone or it's never enough. I wish I could be like most a$$holes that way I could have that woman hopes one day I will become the guy I already was at one point I have no hope anymore. |
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Doneil |
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Posts: 20 (Sep 15, 2008 15:40:08) |
Don't give up! I have been screwed over plenty of times. I have screwed over guys plenty of times aswell. No-one is perfect. If we could figure out the
secret of love then we would all be happy.
Someone will come into your life the woman of your dreams, so don't give up hope. I'm not giving up hope for myself. There really are some truely wonderful people out there, we just havn't found them yet.
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