Ok, I am a bit embarrassed to still say that I still want to win the heart of the guy I have been talking to almost 3 years even though we haven't met.
Part his fault, part mine. I can see both sides. But the bottom line is we have these feelings, yet we won't act. He won't. I won't.
Honestly I don't even know what I am asking here. Maybe I need a little advice or maybe am looking for an anonymous email friend with whom we can discuss our r'ships as they evolve or whatever. I have great insight when it's someone else we're talking about, lol.
But right now, in my situation, I just need to know WHAT to say.
I read the books. I know to be authentic and feminine about my feelings, and seek to discover if this relationship is serving my needs or not. I know all that. But what I don't know is what to say, the words, and even if I know what I feel, which words/feelings should I express? Which should I hold back??
When a guy needs to be "told off," do you do that even if you want him? Maybe especially if you do, but why I am I so afraid of standing up to him. He's not mean. I am just a wimp. A middle child. Any time I have told him off in the past he says it turns him on and he loves it. But we aren't any closer. Yet he won't go find someone else because he wants me. And I can't fall for anyone else b/c I am so curious about him. I try, I date, I talk, I meet, I have chemistry with this one or that one.... yet nothing. Still want him. Can't get past it. Almost 3 years now.
I told him I was going to make him put his money where his mouth is one day. He asked if I was going to hold him accountable for the things he has said. I said, Yes I am!
We just play around, both too scared to make that move.
Going to try very hard to avoid contacting him for the next several months. This spring my friend is going to visit her dad where he lives and I have been invited. I am going to just show up. Probably unexpectedly. Maybe drop a hint IDK, depends on my mood and my wisdom at the moment.
Knock Knock- "Hi, was in the neighborhood (5 hrs away from home lol) and had a few mins and wanted to stop by and say hello."
After that I have no earthly idea. Have a brief visit and then vanish since he didn't actually invite me over. And I wouldn't make this bold effort if I didn't think there wasn't something there. Something- my gut, tells me I need to do this. For me, not for him. I want to show myself I am not a fraidy cat, and show him that he will miss out on something amazing & fun if he doesn't respond. If he does awesome, if he doesn't, never go back there, never contact him again and MOVE ON.
Regardless, just want to leave him wanting more. Most importantly, it's got to be fun or I am not doing it!
Any advice on just HOW to make this a success?
Thanks
Honestly I don't even know what I am asking here. Maybe I need a little advice or maybe am looking for an anonymous email friend with whom we can discuss our r'ships as they evolve or whatever. I have great insight when it's someone else we're talking about, lol.
But right now, in my situation, I just need to know WHAT to say.
I read the books. I know to be authentic and feminine about my feelings, and seek to discover if this relationship is serving my needs or not. I know all that. But what I don't know is what to say, the words, and even if I know what I feel, which words/feelings should I express? Which should I hold back??
When a guy needs to be "told off," do you do that even if you want him? Maybe especially if you do, but why I am I so afraid of standing up to him. He's not mean. I am just a wimp. A middle child. Any time I have told him off in the past he says it turns him on and he loves it. But we aren't any closer. Yet he won't go find someone else because he wants me. And I can't fall for anyone else b/c I am so curious about him. I try, I date, I talk, I meet, I have chemistry with this one or that one.... yet nothing. Still want him. Can't get past it. Almost 3 years now.
I told him I was going to make him put his money where his mouth is one day. He asked if I was going to hold him accountable for the things he has said. I said, Yes I am!
We just play around, both too scared to make that move.
Going to try very hard to avoid contacting him for the next several months. This spring my friend is going to visit her dad where he lives and I have been invited. I am going to just show up. Probably unexpectedly. Maybe drop a hint IDK, depends on my mood and my wisdom at the moment.
Knock Knock- "Hi, was in the neighborhood (5 hrs away from home lol) and had a few mins and wanted to stop by and say hello."
After that I have no earthly idea. Have a brief visit and then vanish since he didn't actually invite me over. And I wouldn't make this bold effort if I didn't think there wasn't something there. Something- my gut, tells me I need to do this. For me, not for him. I want to show myself I am not a fraidy cat, and show him that he will miss out on something amazing & fun if he doesn't respond. If he does awesome, if he doesn't, never go back there, never contact him again and MOVE ON.
Regardless, just want to leave him wanting more. Most importantly, it's got to be fun or I am not doing it!
Any advice on just HOW to make this a success?
Thanks
